Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

The kiss of death in marriage: no French kissing

I have this theory that I would love to do a scientific research about: when couples stop French kissing, and start  giving each other little pecks, their passion is gone. That is the beginning of what can become a relationship of “brother and sister”, which can lead to separate lives and divorce. Other couples just stay together without passion due to a sense of responsability, family and common interests.

Divorce has many causes, we all know. Differences about money, interference of in-laws, different goals, sexual problems, addiction, infidelity, merged family problems and so on. But my guess is that when a couple stops having intimate kisses, kisses where you exchange saliva, the atraction is starting to wane. French kissing while having sex or when hugging or watching TV, for example, is a very intimate and passionate act to share with your lover.

How long do couples French kiss before they stop? They say passion lasts no more than 2 years. I wonder if that is about the time couples stop French kissing.

Let me know what you think. Do you still French kiss your partner?

frechnh

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Relationships, Sex | 54 Comments

Australian kiss (oral sex)

Everyone know what a French kiss is. What about an Australian kiss?

It’s the kiss down under 🙂

Cute joke. Oral sex no longer is a taboo in America. Oral sex is one of the favorite sexual practices for both men and women. For women, it provides a deep and powerful orgasm, for men, I am not so sure, but since Clinton made it popular, I think it may be darn good for them too.

I am usually not very comfortable talking about sex. I do not want to know about the intimate lives of my friends. When someone tells me their boyfriends are “good in bed” I cringe with too much information. I will never look at that guy the same way again.  It’s like imagining your parents having sex; you just don’t want to know.

However, I know there are many people who have a problem with giving oral sex, and some even receiving. It’s not difficult to understand that for some people, the genitals are asscciated with dirt: after all, it’s located near the exit spots for excrements.  Makes you wonder why “God” (I am a known atheist, so just kidding) would put such a pleasure spot right there. Why not have your clitoris on your arm? Wouldn’t it make things easier?

Back to the problem: besides associating genitals with a dirty area, there must be some other mental or emotional issues that make some people have a hard time with oral sex. I think we can list them as:

1) A total disgust for any slight smell that comes from that area, even if washed and scrubbed one minute before the act. Some people are picky eaters, pun intended. Squeamish about food, they won’t eat this or that. They often want to eat the same foods over and over again. I presume that they are just picky by natural human body scents, which can be a huge turn on for others.

2) A fear of looking submissive. After all, the position makes you be the giver. Some people just don’t like to give, only to receive. They are not generous people in life. They want their pleasure, they want to be served, but they don’t want to give back.

3) A bad experience when young, maybe having being sexually harrassed or abused.

4) Being raised in a very religious conservative family (many Irish Catholic families are like that) where sex is considered a dirty thing to do.

5) Not being sufficiently attracted to the woman (or man) you are with. Oral sex is intimitate, and you have to be turned on to practice it. When you are attracted to the person you are with, you want to perform oral sex on them and you want it to be performed back on you.  You greatly enjoy giving them pleasure. Their pleasure is your pleasure.

6) Fear of intimacy. Oral sex is very intimate, as intimate as tongue kissing, so if you want to maintain a  distance from the person you are having sex with, you don’t go there.

Usually when a couple is not French kissing anymore, they are also not having oral sex. Both are related. Long relationships can diminish the frequency of this sexual act, but many successful marriages manage to keep that passion alive.

If you are unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with a person who refuses to give you oral sex, you may want to rethink that relationship. After you have tried all you can, that is: making him or her comfortable with the situation, being clean, complimenting his or her skills, using props like flavored lubricants, etc. and your mate still refuses to do it…either you live with that or you run. The sense of frustration and rejection that comes with being with a person who rejects your body in that level is too painful. Life is short, and we all are entitled to enjoy it.

*Sorry, no pictures on this post 🙂

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Relationships, Sex | 1 Comment