Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Over-40 Childless Folks

Disclaimer: as with all my posts, there are always exceptions to the rule and this is only MY OWN observation. Others may have a completely different view:

There are many circumstances why people don’t have children. Some people never wanted children, and that is a personal preference that needs to be respected. Others never had the opportunity nor was it a goal in their lives. Others threw themselves into their demanding careers and never thought about having children (sometimes regretting it later). Others wanted to have a free and hard partying lifestyle, and settling down with one person and being unable to enjoy life for maybe 2 decades seemed like hell on earth.

Whether it was a personal decision or just life circumstances, adults who never had children differ a bit from others from my observation:

First, having not gone through the stages of parenthood and all the sacrifice it entails, people over 40 who never had children seem to have a more selfish lifestyle. They are not used to care for others, only for themselves.  They don’t have to think what someone else wants to eat, take them here and there, take care of them when they are sick, change diapers and stay home while their friends are partying. They party well into their 50’s and 60’s as if they were still 25. They relate better with younger people who have no family obligations. Their lives have no structure: they don’t have regular meal times and tend to go to bed very late and sleep in. They are used to living alone and resent sharing their space or personal belongings. When in a relationship, they usually make decisions that don’t involve the other person, since they don’t have the habit of considering others’ needs.

People without children tend to have more pets, often dogs or cats who they treat as their kids. They also tend to spoil their nieces and nephews-people with children don’t often do that with theirs. On the other hand, while people without children may become more selfish over time, they sometimes also feel the need to assist others more-which is a good thing. It may derive from their need to “father” or “mother” someone, to nurture. Finally, people without children seem to invest more time in charities and causes-often a substitute for taking care of children, and sometimes like to work in professions that involve children (think headmistresses, clergy, nuns).

There is no right or wrong way to live one’s life. To have or not to have children is totally an individual choice, but there are some differences in the way people live and act.

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August 22, 2013 Posted by | Lifestyle, Psychology, Relationships | 3 Comments

Facebook and Romantic Relationships

It is notorious how Facebook can cause problems for couples. It has been the cause of many divorces and break ups. Many married people have reconnected with former girl/boyfriends and started affairs.  Obviously you can keep secrets not only on Facebook but in other ways, and it’s just one more way to connect to people. There are numerous dating sites and chat rooms that facilitate cheating.

I know couples that have so much trust between them that they have each other’s password for emails and everything else. They feel comfortable and have nothing to hide. When you feel the need to hide, you need to reexamine your feelings for your partner and your relationship in general.

Facebook can sometimes show how committed you are to your partner. Happy couples many times have profiles pictures where they are together. Their relationship status is either “married to” or “in a relationship with” their partner, comfortable and proud that everyone they know will see it. Sometimes for privacy and professional reasons, personal information is not volunteered; but in that case, should you really have a personal page? When someone hides their romantic partner from their Facebook page, it means that they are torn and flaky about that person.  It can also mean they don’t want their backups-people they are either interested in or who are interested in them-to see it, for fear of alienating them. Are you afraid that if you add “in a relationship with” someone your “backup plans” will all defriend you? Are these people more important than your partner? Are you hooked on the admiration and ego lifting from people of the opposite sex?

If your relationship goes through a crisis or a break up, take a long time to change its status on Facebook. Don’t hurry to change because you might reconcile faster than you think. Don’t act impulsively.

Facebook can be a really good way to evaluate what you really feel for your girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse.  I have several Facebook friends who praise and say beautiful things about their partners, celebrate their anniversaries, etc. I feel a huge admiration-with a twinge of envy-for these people.

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August 22, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

What you can learn from people on Facebook

I bet there are many masters and doctorate dissertations on the impact of Facebook in our lives. This post is not meant to analyze in detail the impact Facebook has, but to show how much you can learn about people-and cultures-through what people post. A person’s cultural level is rapidly exposed on Facebook. The comments they make, the subject of their posts. Here are some interesting observations about how people use Facebook:

1)      Most people use Facebook to tell friends and family what they are up to. That is, a deodorized and cleaned up version of themselves. Best pictures, showing off accomplishments, showing off their vacations and possessions. You will never see the real person.

2)      Some people use Facebook to vent their personal problems. They like the “public forum”-like a jury-of people giving their input about what they should do about anything-from love problems to how to unclog a sink.

3)      Exhibitionists delight! Particularly women in sexy poses and muscled up men, use FB to show off their bodies and pecs and get lots of attention and praise. Wannabe models and attention seekers love it.

4)      People with an agenda: whether for politics or particular causes, more and more people use Facebook to further an agenda-and find many likewise minded people. In that respect, Facebook, as with all social media, is an excellent way to educate and change minds, perceptions and worldviews.

5)      The religious and lovers of “cheap philosophy”. Usually women (less educated Brazilian and Hispanic women love this) post a lot about Jesus and religion, living their delusion. They also like memes with “positive thinking” and cheesy inspirational sentences that are nice but completely ineffective. That makes them feel “good” but all it shows is their lack of education and culture.

6)      The wannabe comedians. I have some of these on my Facebook and I love them. They have witty, sarcastic and funny lines that make us laugh every day. They are the wannabe comedy writers and should be writing for late night talk shows…

7)      The bad spellers. They abound on social media and you know they never really read an entire book in their lives…

8)      People claim Facebook is not important, but it really makes a statement of who you are and what is important to you. If you don’t want the exposure,  you should stay out of it.

August 22, 2013 Posted by | Difference between cultures, Social Media, Society | Leave a comment

Work less, play hard

The nature of work as we know it has dramatically changed since the middle ages. Work had no regulation, no limitation, no protection and consumed every waking hour of humans’ lives. In the farming era the whole family would physically work from dawn to dusk. In the industrial era children and adults would work long hours with little to no breaks in terrible conditions.

Thanks to the labor movement  and to “Das Kapital”, we now have regulations in place to have a balance between our work lives and our personal lives.

However, a bigger change is happening while we breathe: work-the way we work now-is becoming less and less physical and more pleasurable. How can work become more pleasurable? Simple: menial and repetitive tasks are increasingly being taken over by machines-automation and computers, so we even while at work, people have more time to chat with co-workers, go online or just sit back and relax-we are becoming more and more supervisors of our own work.

You may be thinking: how come cooks and servers are still working so hard? Yes, they do, and the nature of their work might also improve with time-it has certainly gotten easier with microwave ovens, electronic kitchenware and computers that calculate the bill.

Working from home and teleworking are also two big trends that improve our quality of life. We can do the same we do in an office cubicle and be more present for our families, friends and communities. Computers have made many administrative tasks completely viable of being performed from anywhere in the world. Doctors can more easily make diagnosis and see patients less. Robotics will improve and eliminate dangerous and risky jobs. War will use less human effort. I foresee “work becoming play” to be more and more pronounced over the decades.

 

 

Now, what that will do in terms of job creation and employment rates remains to be seen.Image

August 22, 2013 Posted by | Society, Workplace | Leave a comment

8 ways Brazilians make fun of Americans

American Tourist

1)      Brazilians mock and imitate an American trying to speak Portuguese. They will certainly laugh behind your back, not at you. They especially laugh at how non-Portuguese speakers cannot understand the facts nouns have genders-and which preposition to use.

2)      Brazilians criticize the American bikini bottom, calling it a “diaper”

3)      Brazilians mock the way tourists dress when visiting Brazil, especially the knee high socks, Hawaiian shirts and the very worse peccadillo: Birkenstocks with socks (granted, Europeans like that more).

4)      Brazilians always allude to Americans being overweight-I have hammered this enough on this blog.

5)      100% of the time if you see a table at a cafe sitting on their smart phones silently and not talking to one another, they are for sure Americans and that’s known as “Festa Americana”.

6) Brazilians criticize American parties. They say people don’t have fun, just stand in the corner, don’t dance and go home early.

7) Brazilians make fun of the fact most invitations in America have a start time and an end time. Brazilians think it’s rude to tell the guests when they should leave. Really a cultural thing.

8) Brazilians say Americans do not serve anything to eat in their parties but chips, peanuts and pretzels. Brazilians receive people with real food, hot food, not just Costco finger foods. If a Brazilian invites you to a dinner party or birthday party at their house, there will be real food.

August 22, 2013 Posted by | Difference between cultures | 2 Comments