Trust your Instincts
Everybody has heard the sentence: “jealousy has reared its ugly head”. Jealousy is seen as a terrible trait to have, so much so that people try to suppress it. Jealous people are called “insecure”. Others say that it is all about trust. Yes, we want to trust people. We all want to trust our romantic partners especially. Sometimes, though, too much trust and trying to be too “cool” can make you a fool. You will be the classic case of “the wife who was the last to know”.
If something seems out of place, if you begin noticing some strange patterns, if you feel uncomfortable about something, it usually means something. Trust your instincts! Relationships should not make you feel uneasy! They are meant to make you feel comfortable and safe. White lies can hide bigger lies. Some liars lie with a lot of charm. They make you feel crazy. They make you feel bad for even asking questions. They are masters of deceit. Sociopaths are the most charming people socially, but horrible in personal relationships. I am not concluding all cheaters and liars are sociopaths, but people who lie easily and without remorse show sociopathic tendencies.
When you feel something is not right, investigate. Don’t hide your head on the sand. Catching a STD or having your heart broken can seriously affect your health and your life. Some people take years to get over a betrayal. It affects their lives, their jobs, their future relationships. There are some cases of people who died of a broken heart. A break up is not only the loss of someone you loved, but also the loss of hope, of a future you envisioned together, the loss of happiness (even if it’s temporarily).
While not many of us can afford a private investigator, we can ask questions. We can confront the person we are not feeling comfortable with. We can analyze their response. Hostility towards you? Guilty as sin. Trying to make you feel bad and labeling you jealous and insecure? Diversion technique.
We all have different discomfort zones. Some people can tolerate emotional cheating (when our partners confide in others and make them more important than us), others can tolerate physical cheating. In my humble opinion (I’m kidding, no one who has a blog has a humble opinion, ha ha), whatever makes YOU uncomfortable does not have to continue. Don’t go paranoid. Don’t make up things or let your imagination go wild. Rely on facts. Accept reasonable explanations. But don’t feel ashamed of finding things out and protecting yourself. Trust your instincts. Protect your heart.
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