Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Dating in Brazil versus the U.S.

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Talking to some Brazilian friends who are in the dating market, we compared notes about dating in Brazil vs. dating in the US, and came to the conclusion that dating in America is much more confusing. In Brazil, once you start going out with someone, there is an implicit understanding that you are a couple. That means you readily tell your family and friends you have a significant other. You keep in touch daily. You see each other also almost daily. You start sharing your friends and activities. You know where you stand. You don’t question the relationship so much: “are we dating?”, “are we serious”? Brazilians also display much more public affection, like holding hands and kissing. It is an affectionate country.

 

In America, especially with the multitude of options online dating has created, it seems people have become flakier and that often translates into an on and off relationship. Don’t get me wrong: in Brazil, online dating is also popular, but the essence of what couplehood  means remains the same as before. That is, once you start a romance, you don’t look for others. You see each other almost on a daily basis and starting behaving as a couple.

 

In the US nowadays it seems everyone is looking for the bigger better deal. You go out with someone but you don’t show much commitment. You have “back up” plans. The guy or girl you call on Sundays when you are bored, because your Friday and Saturday nights are reserved for searching for the BBD (bigger better deal). You keep your back up plan happy with a few dates far and between and a few phone calls. You keep your backups a bit hidden since you don’t want your social circles to think you are a couple. God forbid a BBD shows up in a party and you are with the back up!

 

If it doesn’t work out with your partner in Brazil, you end things properly. In America, many people are acting so passive agressively nowadays that they seem unable to break things up with someone or tell them right in the beginning they are not interested  in the other romantically. So relationships drag in that sea of doubt. People forget their manners and disrespect each other by not answering the phone, text or emails. Again, they are so unsure of what they want while they leave you hanging,  just in case it doesn’t work with the BBD…

 

Our society has made us believe that we deserve perfection. Nobody wants to work in a relationship anymore nor put up with normal issues people have. Men want women who look perfect like the photoshopped world they grew up seeing. Women dream of Don Draper types without the womanizing. Selfishness and materialism has subverted the family values we once had and that are still strong in countries like Brazil.

 

Brazil has a lower divorce rate than America. Families stay together for longer (most kids only leave home when they get married), and people tend to live near their families. This family atmosphere also makes couples take their relationship more seriously. Once you both meet each other’s family, the pressure to stay together is stronger.

 

This lack of commitment and constant search for the perfect companion (or soul mate like many like to call) is one of the strongest reasons for this lack of commitment we are seeing in the American dating scene. Couple that with all the supermarket choices of online dating, the “I want it now” mentality of high speed internet/life that has produced instant gratification, the easy access to porn (which banalizes sex) and the disintegration of the nuclear family and you can understand why so many people are complaining about the dating world nowadays.

 

 

May 14, 2013 - Posted by | Brazil, Difference between cultures, Relationships, Society

3 Comments »

  1. It’s difficult for older people as well. We live in a youth oriented society.

    Comment by Colin Cambel..Calgary | May 14, 2013 | Reply

  2. Brazilian women are really very intrigue. (I hope the founder does not mind and allow me to place my new business once is related to this post). Please check out my site, either if you are a Brazilian woman or a Foreign man!

    AmoBrazilian.com is not just another regular dating website. We are very serious in connect single foreign gentlemen from all over the world with the dreamed Brazilian lady to have a real love relationship that can lead to married. Our several options of entertainment in our website, allow couples to learn their affinities and as in many cases, find their soul mate separated by distance and cultures.

    This modern, fun and exciting approach vehicle has promoted the gathering of many different souls who has not find their match in their own countries and decide to take a chance going to the Brazilian ladies, which are so well knowing as a wonderful wives due their loyalty, natural beauty, intelligence, honesty, femininity and family oriented culture. The Brazilians bring a lot of passion, joy, and fun in their husband’s lives.

    Our elite agency is established in Tampa Florida where resides the founder Denise Baker, Brazilian, and married With her loved American husband.
    Thank you very much!
    Denise baker.

    Comment by Denise | June 24, 2013 | Reply

  3. Denise, I’m interested in Brazilian ladies. Ive been a member of Latin Euro a site that has many profiles on women in Brazil. The owner of this business offers names and addresses o f these ladies, however many are not professional rather are prostitutes. Any suggestions and is your website different.

    Comment by Ken | July 24, 2015 | Reply


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