Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Online Dating Idiosyncrasies

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Online dating provides a wealth of information into human psyche. There is so much you can learn about people just by reading their profiles and preferences. If you are trying to find love through online dating, here are some interesting observations:

1) People lie. A lot. White lies too. Investigate, use Google, White Pages and online court information for your State. Unfortunately, none of the paid dating websites screen candidates for drug use, alcoholism, domestic violence, sexual harrasment or mental illness.

2) People who say their kids mean the world to them. “I have the most wonderful kids”, “I have two beautiful daughters/kids/sons”. Of course you do, but to you! Every parent thinks the world of their kids. Not only that is obvious, it makes you wonder if they will have any time for dating and if their kids will always come first. Beware of potential problems with moms and dads who are over protective.

3) Remember that most people who you meet you will not have any chemistry with. If your expectations are very low, you won’t be disappointed.

4) Make sure you understand the deal breakers before you sleep with someone. If someone wants to have children and you do not, it’s a waste of your time. If you want a serious and monogamous relationship and she does not, why go on? Sometimes people overlook things like that and end up getting hurt later.

5) Political preference and religion. Make sure you can have an intimate relationship with someone who has such a different worldview than you.

6) Excess action: the generation “I don’t want to be like my mother generation”. Their profiles are a succession of trips around the world and endless adventures like jumping out of planes and climbing Mount Everest that makes you tired just to read them.

7) Bad spelling, bad grammar. Makes you think why would someone post a dating profile without even trying to get their smarter friend to review it or use plain spellcheck..

8) The “I can go from casual to a tuxedo”. When did that become a selling point? Almost any human being can!

9) The coffee date. Guys, most women do not want to have coffee at 7 PM. And they don’t want to meet you at broad daylight first thing in the morning. Don’t be cheap-buy her a drink. It is much more romantic to go to a nice bar or small restaurant or outdoor cafe. If you are not sure she deserves a proper date, don’t waste your time.

10) Don’t string people along. Don’t ignore their text messages and emails or calls after a date. That is insanely rude. Just tell them the truth: you are not interested in them romantically.

11) People who take 10 years off their age hoping no one will notice. Don’t delude yourself.

12) People who talk non-stop about their “evil” ex. That is so off-putting. Go get over them first and then try dating.

13) People who try to be too “hands on” on a first date. See if the other person is also into you. And guys, a second date does not mean a woman will sleep with you.

14) People who put pictures of themselves with other people. Don’t you know how to crop pictures or just upload a picture of yourself? Do these people know they are on a dating site for the world to see? We do not want to see pictures of you, your baby, your grown klds, your pets or sunsets. We do not want to see pictures of your friends and buddies. What if your friend is better looking than you, will you give us their number?

15) Overweight women trying to hide behind their friends or objects…

16) Men saying how they want to find a woman to shower with love, flowers, trips and attention. Guys, you will do that for a couple of months. Than you will become your lazy self…and take us for granted when you notice how much we are into you!

17) There are so many men saying they look and act younger than their age, or that people say they look younger (people are nice…) and when you look at their pictures, or worse, look at them up close, they look EXACTLY their age-or even older! Men don’t have mirrors at home..women are usually more aware of their physical shortcomings.

18) Expectations: when you go out of your way to meet an online date-getting ready, driving sometimes several miles-you expect you will meet the love of your life. Most of the time though, you will just have a standard date which may be pleasant but uneventful. People expect instant attraction, bells going off, an encounter of souls..but it’s just one more person you are not excited about. We want perfection, and perfection doesn’t exist. It is not a natural way of falling in love. It’s forced. It’s artificial. Isn’t it a lot better to meet someone in real life and feel that instant connection? To read the interest in their eyes? That is why I think online dating has a low rate of success. The best romances happen by natural circumstances.

19) Far away photos: what’s the point? Pictures of sunsets, pets and your kids: who cares? Pictures of your trips around the world-too late, you won’t be going there with us. Pictures with loads of friends-we get it, you’re popular. Pictures with your exes-yes, there are some completely clueless people, especially men, who want to show off how pretty the ex was to step up their game, and it so backfires…

20) Widowers. This one is from an actual profile: “I lost the love of my life to cancer last summer. We were married 25 years. Nobody could replace my wife, Kathy”. Well, how many women are willing to live eternally with “Rebecca”?

My readers can provide me with more funnies from online dating…

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April 2, 2013 Posted by | Dating world, Relationships | 6 Comments

The 60 year old playboys

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There is a new phenomenon out there in the dating world: men who are approaching 60 and are still single. Most of these men have been married in the past-sometimes once or twice, and have become very skeptical about marriage. Thus, they spend their 40’s and 50’s being playboys-dating one woman after the other, always looking for looks and not much substance. Then something happens: they suddenly age. They lose their “mature guy” good looks to become older men.

You would think that they would have a very easy time with the large number of middle aged divorced women trying to find a man, while they can date younger women and have a wider selection. But that is not what I am seeing. I am seeing men who reach 60 and cannot find a date. The reason is simple: they do not appeal to younger women, and they do not look like they did in their 40’s any longer. Welcome to a rude awakening. Additionally, the 50 year old women who would normally entertain dating them now prefer men their age. Not only these women now  look great with all the new cosmetic treatments, they have their own money and do not need to marry an older guy to have a decent lifestyle. They are no longer helpless women who need a man to support them. No wonder some of these men even consider bringing a woman from a poor country where they have few professional options.

Unless the older man has a lot of money, he will have to look at women around his age who are healthy and active, and not become so obsessed with looks and youth.

April 2, 2013 Posted by | Relationships | Leave a comment