Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Couples and Vacations

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Some couples like to do everything together, some couples do well having different hobbies and activities. People are different and what works for them is also different. However, when couples take vacations apart, it can be a source of conflict. It can also be a sign that the relationship is on its way out.

Vacations bring memories. Vacations are meant to be about fun and relaxation. When you have a vacation without your partner, not only you are not going to have those memories together, you may put yourself in situations where meeting people of the opposite sex is very tempting.  And resisting temptation is one of the things people in committed relationships need to do. Temptation is everywhere these days: at work, in social events, on the internet.  If you think having solo vacations will enhance your relationship, you have to realize your partner needs to be on the same page. Is your partner wishing you a nice vacation and happy to stay behind (sometimes working)? Is your partner completely cool about it? Then all the power to both of you. If your partner is not as enthusiastic about you having a solo vacation as you are, you might have a problem there.  Resentment will grow, and resentment is one of the biggest marriage killers.

What about business/work trips? They are part of our working lives.  Some people travel a lot for work, some occasionally and some never do.  If your job makes you travel all the time, communication with your spouse is key. Texting, emailing, calling and skyping all help stay in touch and make your partner feel comfortable with what you are doing. I know a man who traveled abroad on business and took pictures of everything interesting he saw, sending them by messaging to his wife. It was his way to say he was thinking of her. She felt happy and content and secure.

Traveling with your romantic partner can also be a big test of your relationship. It’s a 24 hour together thing. Either you will get along or you will feel like killing each other. However, when people get along, it is one of the most pleasurable things you can do together. There is no one in the world I prefer to travel more with than the person I love. Friends are ok, but some have different interests and you don’t have the same freedom to negotiate. Your children are ok, but you don’t get the romance part. And some places just invite romance: think about Paris, the French Riviera, a tropical beach, all of Italy, the Greek islands…

September 12, 2012 - Posted by | Relationships

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