Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

The Nice Guy vs. the Bad Boy experiment

One of my friends led a very interesting non-scientific experiment with his friends. They created two false profiles on Match.com. The first one they simply called “Jim”. Jim was a nice man who likes long walks in the park and foreign movies. Jim had never been married and did not have children. He was also financially stable with a nice job. Jim exercised, did not smoke, had a healthy diet and drank socially. One of the friends, who was nice looking, offered his picture for the “Jim” profile.

The second profile created was “Rusty”. Rusty drives a Harley, has 4 children from 2 different ex-wives, likes to go out with his “buddies”, smoked and drank. Rusty’s picture was of a suave guy with dark shades and hair gelled back.

Guess who got more letters on Match.com? Yes, you are right. Rusty did. Many more.

Rusty then made several dates with many of the women who had contacted him. Rusty failed to appear to the dates, without calling in advance. Hours later, the women would email him: “What happened”? Rusty gave them the excuse that he had had to pick up one of his sons. The women were very understanding, even when Rusty said he was delayed because his baby momma was giving him a hard time for “not paying child support”. It gets worse: the women he had stood up asked him to schedule another date.

Jim meanwhile, wasn’t as nearly successful. What does it say about women and women’s decision making when it comes to relationships? Are we really attracted to the difficult types because they are a challenge? Can we learn with age to choose the good guys? Maybe the women who attempt to find a date online are not as discerning? All in all, it was an interesting little experiment that actually makes me a little sad.

January 31, 2012 - Posted by | Relationships

5 Comments »

  1. It goes to show that nice guys really do finish last and that a lot of women are looking for superficial relationships. Its a shame that they lie on their profiles about how the want this and that, then turn around a choose the other. lol

    Comment by Steve | January 31, 2012 | Reply

  2. It may also depend on where this experiment was done. America? Then it doesn’t surprise me. I wonder if women from abroad react the same way…

    Comment by Rick | February 7, 2012 | Reply

    • Believe me! I’m from Brazil and worked in a bar there for 4 years! IT WOULD BE THE S(H)AME!

      Comment by Robson | April 4, 2012 | Reply

  3. This is an issue to write a book, hey?! I’ll try to write in few lines my view about this issue! And please, if you decide to write a book on this subject, don’t forget us here in Brazil. I’m sure many people wonder about the same questions!!! 🙂

    That’s a shame! Many Brazilian girls/women decide to engage with their profession and have an independent life precisely because of the lack of good guys. I have experienced some relationships (some of them I met in person and some online) with guys in/outside of Brazil, and sometimes “some” shocked me because they seemed emotionally cold people or for issues of cultural difference. But I believe that even where there is much freedom and liberality … if the guys are honest and show good will into a relationship… they have much to gain. And I guess women are losing the patience with men because they don’t know how to grant independence with the fact of being engaged affectively with someone. Because usually many women/men think…”we do what we want and no one will change”; “Love me or Leave me!” – A person who has this kind of belief cannot have a stable relationship because he/she will always try to reason with the partner. Where is the ‘understanding’, the real will of being engaged with someone?! After all, to find harmony in a relationship is necessary to have some concessions from both partners. To my view, the negative points of what I’ve said before, sounds like an excuse to not be engaged into a relationship. Fear, maybe?! I still don’t understand which is the real reason because every person is different of the other (culturally, educationally, anyway, whatever is the reason I feel that people are afraid of being hurt (or used) by someone who they don’t get to know well). As there are independent women/men, whom accept any attitude from his/her partner because in the name of their emotional freedom, (no one loves no one. Consequently, no one belongs to no one) – a belief quite dangerous for those who try to show that they are emotionally independents, but in reality they are not. But, certainly, every rule has its exceptions.

    The perfect mates need to share and reconcile with the difficulties/differences at certain times. But the main thing is, being as you are, also respecting the individuality of your partner. It’s more easy to find forgiveness for a mistake from a honest person than living with a fake person. Ah! Certainly, it’s not the physical attraction which makes a relationship lasts, but the companionship and, most of all, the complicity. First of all, we will not be young forever. And then, who wants to die all alone?!

    Usually I see that bad guys are accompanied by bad girls. And the good ones have ever been caught! There are still the married people whom say… you can be married with someone for a lifetime and you don’t even know your partner! – I wonder why?! There is a plausible reason for such belief, no!?

    – Hey GOOD guys…there are some hope for you in Brazil!!! :)))

    P.S. Hope you forgive me about my english which is not fluent! And Congratulations for this Weblog! I don’t agree with all you say about Brazilian culture, because we are a mix of different races, beliefs and cultures since South to North…that means, in each State of Brazil the culture changes a lot – But in the essence of the content… I think, from everything I’ve read, this is the weblog that is the most closest to the truth about Brazilian culture written by a non Brazilian person. And thanks for sharing about American culture! It’s simply rewarding!🙂

    Success and Best Regards from Brazil

    Comment by Luciana | June 20, 2012 | Reply


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