Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Think before you marry a…….

While in the throes of love and lust, the fact that couples often turn a blind eye to some red flags or postpone good judgment is common knowledge. Whether it is the hormone oxytocin or putting their mate on a pedestal, it’s easy to overlook some factors that can become minor or major sources of distress and tension in a marriage. Many of these issues come from the profession a person has. So even if you are head over heels in love with your partner but they have one of the professions below, see if you are really prepared for the rough ride. Forget how much you love him or her. Just ask yourself: “over the years, how would I feel if my partner…”.

1) Think before you marry a…..politician. Based on recent stories, if your male partner is in politics, be aware that some women are attracted to power and might pursue your partner with no regard for his relationship status. Not only that, your partner will constantly be invited to social situations and sometimes you will not be a part of that. He will also be on the road when campaigning, and he/she might require that you accompany him or her as well. If you have your own career, going on road trips and shaking hands might not be possible.

2) Think before you marry a…..pilot. You will spend many nights alone, and other important dates of you and your children’s lives without your partner. Pilots who work for UPS and FedEx have long periods at home, but they also have long periods making deliveries all around the globe. Truck drivers are also included in this category.

3) Think before you marry a……actor. The entertainment business is fraught with temptations. Actors sometimes film in distant locations and stay in hotels or trailers, surrounded by other actors. Too many love stories have originated in movie sets. Notwithstanding the love scenes and bond that happens while filming, actors also have huge egos fed by fans and constant praise.

4) Think before you marry….. a fashion photographer. Photographers often work with beautiful models and famous people. Some of them photograph nude models. Stories of affairs between the person behind the lens and in front of the lens abound. Can you deal with that well?

5) Think before you marry…..a war correspondent. The fact your husband or wife may not come back and is in constant danger is not very comforting.

6) Think before you marry a……doctor or a lawyer. According to general gossip, doctors and nurses and lawyer and secretary are common set ups for extra-marital affairs.

7) Think before you marry…..a retired person. Do you really want your partner to be home all day doing nothing?

8) Think before you marry a…..military person. This one is obvious. Your partner may be sent overseas for long periods. Your partner may also be in danger when there is a military conflict.

9) Think before you marry a…..night shift nurse. Or anyone who works the night shift. Do you think you can handle a partner whose schedule is opposite than yours?

10) Think before you marry a…..porn actor or stripper. No explanation necessary.

11) Think before you marry a…..police officer. Bad hours and some danger involved as well.

12) Think before you marry a…..race car driver. Your partner will be gone most weekends or more, and if you hold a job you might not be able to accompany him. And if you do, be prepared for smell of tires, smoke and a lot of noise. Ah, and you will never see him before a race, when he is “preparing” his car.

13) Think before you marry an…..archaeologist. He or she will spend long periods in some far away excavation site.

14) Think before you marry a…..small business owner. Unless you and your partner work together in the family business (think Mom & Pop shop, Chinese restaurants, etc) you are set for a life of loneliness & no vacations. Small business owners have very little downtime, usually work odd hours & weekends and can rarely get away for a one week vacation-imagine a 2-week to a month one. Additionally, they are usually overworked & stressed out.

What’s left? An accountant? That seems pretty safe, right? Can you think of other careers, hobbies or activities that can cause problems in a romantic relationship?

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July 12, 2011 - Posted by | Relationships

3 Comments »

  1. Interesting take….but what girl wouldnt want to marry Indiana Jones. Girls should really all just flock to bloggers. And they should avoid all of these things… http://windycitizensports.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/mid-20s-dating-girls-that-are-undateable/

    Comment by The Mayor | July 12, 2011 | Reply

  2. One thing that you forgot to mention concerning pilots in your laundry list of thoughts with whom you marry……..I might be gone for stretches at a time, but when I’m home, I’m home. And that is sometimes for three weeks at a time. For an executive to make what I make (last year was 200k + with additional about 30k in retirement), they are going to work 70-80 hours a week to make that money. They are going to be home….but they are going to be in their home office….working.

    The extreme upside to my job is the ability to genuinely focus and bond with my family when I am home. I have zero to do with work at home. An amazing gift from a demanding job. And it takes a special and strong woman to really run a household while the pilot hubby is gone. So there is a downside to it…depending on how you look at it. Running a household, being alone as a woman, with kids, can be a scary thing. It takes a strong woman to know what to do not only in safety situations, but in mechanical problems with the various house systems. And raise children with the constant radar that parents have with kids under their care.

    And there are no breaks for the spouse as in any marriage. It is usually the woman that carries the workload of the household…with no breaks. When hubby comes home, hubby helps. But it doesn’t mean that mommy drops off the face of the earth. She is still there, doing her stuff, but with less of a workload. It’s a, “break”, but not a break of complete solitude and restful down time.

    Many pilot marriages crumble for all the wrong reasons. With the right partner, it is the BEST of both worlds. Both get to have their space. Both get to fantasize about their partner while they are gone….keeping their love life alive. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Both can have independant lives that intersect on days off. If the spouse flies for passenger carriers, they have passes. Which are tough to use nowadays as flights are always booked. It is, as always, incumbent on both parties to make the best of a situation of marriage that they find themselves in.

    Pilot marriages crumble for, again, all the wrong reasons. The pilot cheats, losing focus of his love at home. I know guys that have active girlfriends on the road. I could/would/never do that. My heart couldn’t be torn as such. No way. And my money is either for my pleasure on the road in eating well and drinking nice scotch, or even the occassional sight seeing. Or it is for my family. I know guys that have sunk 200k into GIRLFRIENDS in Brasil. These guys have obviously lost their way.

    That is the biggest problem on the pilot employee side.

    On the spouse side is a multitude of things: loneliness. Inability to create a life separate from their spouse. Infidelity through loneliness. Jealousy that the pilot gets to travel, have down time with peace and quiet in a hotel room in city X. International pilots like myself only create more jealousy with a wife that likes to travel. I get off this trip that I’m on right now, and two days later fly first class to Asia. Then stay at the Grand Hyatt in Asia for two days before starting my trip. This setup makes spouses very jealous. Especially ones that like to travel.

    The spouse, usually the wife in a pilot situation, has to be strong. HAS to be. It’s not easy, as most pilot marriages end in divorce. But it’s because one or both parties have lost sight of the incredible luck that the family has that the bread winner in the family is a pilot. Staying focused allows for a wonderful and full life. You won’t be rich. But you’ll be comfortable.

    Being the wife of a pilot is a wonderful opportunity for a family if the marriage stays focused. Guys that survive this industry with their marriage intact do so because they don’t stray. They communicate daily and often, no matter where they are in the world. They stay connected. And the spouse, usually the wife, is strong and independant and able. She does her job at home and he does his job on the road and when they meet, it CAN be the perfect romance.

    And when the kids are grown and gone, gee….your spouse is now home for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, hell….I just got off of 6 weeks off in a row…without even having vacation. Imagine the trips you could setup in those stretches of days off with no kids!

    If you are an executive, making that money, you are working your butt off. Home every night…well…yes….but executives at that level do travel usually at least once a month. But even when they are home, they are not mentally home. YOu know what I mean?

    Throughout life there are few things that are a certain besides death and taxes. One that pertains here is that nothing in life is free. Nothing. If you are the wife of a CEO, you have MANY additional duties. If you are the wife of an astronaut, again, many additional duties. If you want to reach for the brass ring in these situations, there is a cost. Being a pilot’s spouse is no different. There is a cost in everything. Nothing will ever be perfect in life.

    For me, and most pilots, I simply couldn’t imagine doing anything else in my life. I am extremely fortunate to do something I love to do.

    One thing that you SHOULD know before marrying a pilot……most pilots….like 98% of them, will do anything to keep flying. They will, if pushed, put their job first. If a spouse says, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take your absence. 98% of pilots will say, well, good luck out there! Because they aren’t quitting their job until it’s pried (pryed?) out of their cold dead hands. Pilots go through all they do because they love to fly. A spouse has to respect that. Kept in context, again, an upside. Pilots rarely get fired. They do make mistakes. But are passionate in the pursuit of perfection for the most part. Pilots are by nature self directed individuals. Again an upside. They are adventurous. They like fun and speed. Many more pilots lose their jobs through medical issues, than they do get fired through lack of proficiency.

    Anyway, I could go on and on. Recognize that any position in life is going to come with costs. Internalize it. And make it a positive. Communicate. Be partners. Grow old together. And realize that having a partner and friend for life far outweighs the material depicted in the tv shows Housewives of OC/NJ/Beverly Hills/Atlanta. Sadly, people believe that this is what is real in life. What’s real is the ongoing maintenance of marriage. It’s hard work. But as we were all raised to believe….nothing really worth it is easy.

    Comment by Steve | July 14, 2011 | Reply

  3. I am marrying a beautiful Brasilian lady…she is lovely..educated..erudite..she isnt looking for a sugar daddy…she is smart…she paints lovely watercolours..If i wanted to find a girl who was “working it” i need only look to the USA, My girl has a masters degree and can speak 3 languages. I have no bias one way or another but i must say that i am glad to choose a Latina …they are beautiful ladies and I am honoured to have one in my life . Te amo “`

    Comment by simon | July 23, 2012 | Reply


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