Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

On love, attraction and compatibility

I have talked about love in a previous post, and how difficult it is to explain and define it. We can almost say romantic love is a mix of lust and like, a physical attraction and a desire to be with a certain person. However, as people mature, compatibility becomes a lot more important than love. It’s compatibility that makes couples stay together after the physical attraction has waned (because familiarity does breed contempt and living together does kill the mystery and excitement that new sex has).

After many years of marriage, common interests, common goals, a shared worldview, hobbies and routine are the glues that holds couples together. The other glues are a sense of family, having children and grandchildren together, having a extended family, social and religious obligations.

But life offers no guarantees. Even if you choose someone who has a lot in common with you to marry, this person or yourself can change. Some changes are external, like chronic disease or suddenly making a lot of money; and some changes are internal (one of my friend’s ex-wife wanted to “find herself”, “Eat Pray & Love” style). However, you increase your chances of staying together if you are compatible.
Here are some questions about this subject:

Do you think all couples in the beginning of a relationship are compatible (or pretend to be in order to seduce their partner) and then change as life goes on?

Is it worth leaving a long relationship where there is compatibility just because you are not in love anymore (usually when someone tells their spouse they are not in love with them anymore it really means they are not sexually attracted to them anymore)?


April 12, 2011 - Posted by | Relationships

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