Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Women hitting on men

We surely are past the feminist movement, and there’s little that women cannot do anymore. Women can be fighter jet pilots, fight wars and fix engines. Notwithstanding the old fashioned Catholic church and its medieval practice of only allowing men to be priests, there is practically nothing a woman cannot do.

But when it comes to dating, we hear a lot of advice, specially from the “Rules” advocates, that we should let men take the initiative. “Don’t hit on the guy, let him come to you”. “Don’t call him first”. “Don’t invite him out”. “If a man wants you he will follow you to the end of the earth”. Other notions along those lines are heard among single women

The other day though, my “”single and looking”  friend told me: “why can’t we hit on a man”? She told me she knew happily married couples where the woman had taken the initiative because the guys they liked were…shy.

Yes, some men are scared of approaching strange women, and that doesn’t mean they will devalue them if the woman is the one who show interest first.  They won’t lose interest quickly because it was the woman’s idea to start the romance, unless they were not that into them to start with!

If a man likes a woman’s personality, ideas and is also attracted to her physically, the fact the woman approached him first should not make him less interested. Don’t be fooled: men are also vain. They love compliments as much as women do. If you talk to a guy who has a nice smile, what stops you from telling him so?

That notion, based on the sociobiological fact that men like a challenge and like to the the pursuer, does not mean that a long and stable relationship cannot evolve when you both know each other better.

With that in mind, it should be ok to approach a single man (no married men please!) in a party, art gallery, sports event, park, conference or even a bar. Give him your number if you like his demeanor, the way he looks, his sense of humor, attitude and ideas. That is, if he doesn’t try to get your number before you or him leave.

If he doesn’t call you, he’s not interested, and you have nothing to lose. You started it, right? But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to follow up. It takes two to tango.


May 19, 2010 - Posted by | Psychology, Relationships

1 Comment »

  1. Ola amigo,

    Gostaria de contar contigo; uma mao lava a outra e as duas lavam o rosto!

    Meu nome: Rubens Onofrio
    Para representar os brasileiros perante o Consulado Brasileiro.
    Meu perfil esta no site.
    Eh soh clicar na barra azul pra votar, ou entrar no site do Consulado Brasileiro.

    Pra votar pelo site, o link esta no final da primeira pagina do Consulado Brasilerio.

    Grato pela Confianca.
    Pra votar sera ate dia 9 de novembro/2010.

    Repasse aos Amigos, pois quanto mais amigos votando tivermos, mais aumenta nossa forca!

    Estaremos Sempre Juntos na Caminhada!

    Comment by Rubens Onofrio | November 7, 2010 | Reply

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