Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Marital Therapy: is it really effective?

What prompted this post was a conversation I had with some friends about the efficacy of couple’s therapy sessions. I have heard cases where the therapy actually broke the couple apart. Since I am not a psychologist, I can only throw around some questions as to why this might happen:

1) The relationship is so irrevocably lost that not even a magician could fix it;

2) The therapy exposes some dark secrets that may hurt your spouse (some things are better left unsaid or untold);

3) The therapist takes sides;

4) The therapists projects his/her own romantic experiences into the marital counseling.

Whereas I think individual therapy can be tricky too (remember that famous episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie realizes what a waste of time it was?), at least it is one to one. When you have 3 people, the dynamics can be 2 against one, and that can backfire.  Obviously, high quality professionals don’t let that happen, but I have heard that type of complaint.  I wish each marital counselor had a statistic in his practice: how many couples gained from the therapy and stayed together and how many split.  What if instead of one therapist per couple, there were 2 or 3 professionals that would hear them out and offer their advice?

Since my experience on this subject is limited, I ask the reader: have you had marital therapy? And do you think it helped or harmed your relationship?


May 7, 2010 - Posted by | Psychology, Relationships

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