Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

David Goldman’s battle and success

I learned about David Goldman’s story a year ago. I was touched by it and it spoke deeply to me as a Brazilian woman, as someone who had been married to a foreigner and as someone who loves her children.  I also have a strong sense of injustice and I felt I could help him with my knowledge of Brazilian culture and history and my Portuguese skills. And the one year journey of being involved in this case thus began.

Along with many other supporters, many of them Brazilians like myself, our bumpy ride included days of hope, days of fury, days of despair and hopelessness, days of joy, nights with imsomnia, days of sadness, neglecting of work and spouses and friends. My friends noticed I was calling them less.  I spent countless hours on the www.bringseanhome.org website. I wrote an enormous amount of letters to politicians, media personalities and bloggers both in Brazil and in the USA. I wrote tons of comments on articles about the case in the Brazilian and American media, defending David.

This case has become the biggest success story I know of engaging a huge amount of people to help someone through the internet. I do not remember the internet being used to mobilize efforts of this magnitude before.

The satisfaction I am having seeing this case solved is undescribable. I always believed in the “sacred”, or natural, right of a mother or father in raising their children, unless there is a major impediment such as drug abuse, mental illness, phsyical and emotional abuse, extreme poverty and neglect. David was a perfectly capable father, and a superb one until his son was ripped apart from him cruelly and drastically.

There was a lot of talk about the best interests of the child. The best interest of a child is to be with a loving parent. Studies have shown over and over that children raised by grandparents, uncles or aunts and step-parents do not get the same quality of attention they get from a parent.

A 9 year old child may think he knows what he wants, but we all know that at the age of 9 you just don’t have the maturity to know what really is the best for you. A parent is the only person who should decide on what’s best for the child, providing they are capable. In the absence of BOTH parents, than it is the grandparents, other relatives or whoever the State determines.

I think Sean will obviously miss his maternal grandparents, his step-father, his nanny and his half-sister, but he will also adjust to his new life and will gradually miss them less.  Unfortunately, at this point, the Brazilian family is not showing any signs of emotional intelligence with this case, by spreading more lies and twisting the truth. Instead of trying to build a bridge to David, they continue shooting their own feet. David has said many times he would allow them visitation, but they are confusing their status of GRANDMOTHER and EX-STEP-FATHER with that of a parent. Grandparents and former step-parents can VISIT a child, but do not normally raise them when there is a capable parent. How many times do we all have to repeat that to the maternal family?

With all that has happened in the last few days, there is a strong probability that Silvana Bianchi Ribeiro, the grandmother, and Joao Paulo Lins e Silva, the step-father, will be a bad influence on the child’s adpatation to his new life with his father. We have not seen them praise David to Sean or try to make Sean’s transition easier. If it were my child, I would monitor each and every contact from them until I felt that they could be a positive influence instead of a malicious one. Sean needs time to feel comfortable with his father and regain the bond they once had.  David has his extended family (great parents, sister, brother in law, nephew and niece) very close by, and that will help Sean have a sense of belonging.

As a child who was 4 when I first came to the United States with my family and 9 when I moved back to Brazil, I know Sean will adapt quickly. Children are so incredibly resilient, specially when they they have love and protection from their parents. They learn languages, they make friends and adapt to the new routines much faster than adults do.

Watch here for the first steps Sean and David are taking together to have a productive and happy life ahead of them:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/34619335#34619335

Here’s to Sean and David!

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December 29, 2009 - Posted by | World Events/News

4 Comments »

  1. Thank you. I has been a pleasure to be a Proud supporter of David And Sean Goldman. Nice Blog Right to the point. And yes the Brazilian family needs to give up. I will hope that some day they realize what they have done. I am proud of you. You rock Brasilmagic.

    Welcome home Sean,Welcome Home!

    Comment by Aida Rivera | December 29, 2009 | Reply

  2. Finally justice prevailed, albeit under pressure from U.S. senators. I love my country, but our justice, and politics, to stop being corrupt. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the Goldman family

    Comment by Carlinhos | December 30, 2009 | Reply

    • Carlinhos, the pressure from American Senators helped but the Justice system in Brazil has people like Judge Pinto and Justice Gilmar Mendes who are not afraid of the Lins e Silva’s power. Now, I am disgusted by the headlines in the media now there. They insist in putting a negative spin to everything.

      Comment by Brasilmagic | December 30, 2009 | Reply

  3. Grace, I’m glad I’m not the only one who was outraged by that digusting blog post (and she’s posted other ones since then)
    http://dastardlydads.blogspot….mment-form
    This writer and several of the ilk she links to accuse the U.S. media of bias yet are providing articles from certain media publications in Brazil that do nothing but slam David and give the grandmother and stepfather an endless amount of space to slander him.
    You just know if it was reversed that blogger would be angry as heck and state it doesn’t matter how much time had passed etc, the child belongs with his mom. Apprently kidnappings by parents are okay if Mom does it. People like her hurt abused women and children more then they help.

    Comment by Zach | December 31, 2009 | Reply


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