Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Does exercise make you live less?

runnerThe commedian Chico Anísio, on the famous Jô Soares talk show in Brazil, says physical exercise is the first step to death. He brought attention to the fact that rarely an athlete gets to the age of 80 and gives examples of long living celebrities who never exercised or went to gyms, amongst them the journalist and legal scholar Barbosa Lima Sobrinho, who got to 100 years old.

Anisio also gave an example in the animal kingdom: the turtle, who lives to the age of 300. Do you know any rabbit who lived even 15 years?

Another example is the Brazilian composer Dorival Caymmi: he was the father of sloth. He spent 75% of his day lying on a hammock, drinking, smoking and chewing. A really slow guy, he would take 10 seconds to walk a few feet. Even without ever doing any exercise, he reached 90 years old.

Conclusion: treadmill, walking, aerobics, weight lifting and gym: run away from those while you still have your health. Let’s toast lazy sedentarism!

Don’t be upset if you spend the rest of your life fat, you will have eternity to look like bones! Do not diet anymore! Whales only drink water, only eat fish, swim all day and are FAT! Hail to french fries and beer! So you have a spare tire? It’s ok, airplanes do too!

Hey I am joking!

So what do you think of Chico Anision’s theory?  Don’t you think it’s ridiculous?

May 15, 2009 Posted by | Health | 2 Comments

The kiss of death in marriage: no French kissing

I have this theory that I would love to do a scientific research about: when couples stop French kissing, and start  giving each other little pecks, their passion is gone. That is the beginning of what can become a relationship of “brother and sister”, which can lead to separate lives and divorce. Other couples just stay together without passion due to a sense of responsability, family and common interests.

Divorce has many causes, we all know. Differences about money, interference of in-laws, different goals, sexual problems, addiction, infidelity, merged family problems and so on. But my guess is that when a couple stops having intimate kisses, kisses where you exchange saliva, the atraction is starting to wane. French kissing while having sex or when hugging or watching TV, for example, is a very intimate and passionate act to share with your lover.

How long do couples French kiss before they stop? They say passion lasts no more than 2 years. I wonder if that is about the time couples stop French kissing.

Let me know what you think. Do you still French kiss your partner?

frechnh

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Relationships, Sex | 55 Comments

Australian kiss (oral sex)

Everyone know what a French kiss is. What about an Australian kiss?

It’s the kiss down under 🙂

Cute joke. Oral sex no longer is a taboo in America. Oral sex is one of the favorite sexual practices for both men and women. For women, it provides a deep and powerful orgasm, for men, I am not so sure, but since Clinton made it popular, I think it may be darn good for them too.

I am usually not very comfortable talking about sex. I do not want to know about the intimate lives of my friends. When someone tells me their boyfriends are “good in bed” I cringe with too much information. I will never look at that guy the same way again.  It’s like imagining your parents having sex; you just don’t want to know.

However, I know there are many people who have a problem with giving oral sex, and some even receiving. It’s not difficult to understand that for some people, the genitals are asscciated with dirt: after all, it’s located near the exit spots for excrements.  Makes you wonder why “God” (I am a known atheist, so just kidding) would put such a pleasure spot right there. Why not have your clitoris on your arm? Wouldn’t it make things easier?

Back to the problem: besides associating genitals with a dirty area, there must be some other mental or emotional issues that make some people have a hard time with oral sex. I think we can list them as:

1) A total disgust for any slight smell that comes from that area, even if washed and scrubbed one minute before the act. Some people are picky eaters, pun intended. Squeamish about food, they won’t eat this or that. They often want to eat the same foods over and over again. I presume that they are just picky by natural human body scents, which can be a huge turn on for others.

2) A fear of looking submissive. After all, the position makes you be the giver. Some people just don’t like to give, only to receive. They are not generous people in life. They want their pleasure, they want to be served, but they don’t want to give back.

3) A bad experience when young, maybe having being sexually harrassed or abused.

4) Being raised in a very religious conservative family (many Irish Catholic families are like that) where sex is considered a dirty thing to do.

5) Not being sufficiently attracted to the woman (or man) you are with. Oral sex is intimitate, and you have to be turned on to practice it. When you are attracted to the person you are with, you want to perform oral sex on them and you want it to be performed back on you.  You greatly enjoy giving them pleasure. Their pleasure is your pleasure.

6) Fear of intimacy. Oral sex is very intimate, as intimate as tongue kissing, so if you want to maintain a  distance from the person you are having sex with, you don’t go there.

Usually when a couple is not French kissing anymore, they are also not having oral sex. Both are related. Long relationships can diminish the frequency of this sexual act, but many successful marriages manage to keep that passion alive.

If you are unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with a person who refuses to give you oral sex, you may want to rethink that relationship. After you have tried all you can, that is: making him or her comfortable with the situation, being clean, complimenting his or her skills, using props like flavored lubricants, etc. and your mate still refuses to do it…either you live with that or you run. The sense of frustration and rejection that comes with being with a person who rejects your body in that level is too painful. Life is short, and we all are entitled to enjoy it.

*Sorry, no pictures on this post 🙂

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Relationships, Sex | 1 Comment

“Maid in Brazil”

maid

The Brazilian middle class, and most certainly the upper middle class, still have full time maids. It’s a modern day slavery, because although these maids are paid (usually minimum wage, which in Brazil is outrageously low), they are treated not as equals but as lower class citizens.

Many of them live with their employers. Apartments in Brazil usually feature the “maid’s bedroom”, a small cublicle, many times with no window, with a tiny bathroom nearby. This “maid’s room” looks more like a storage space, the broom closet, than a place to sleep. It is usually near the kithen and the laundry room, like during the slavery days.

Many people I talk to in Brazil defend having such maids by saying: “If I didn’t employ them, they would be in much worse situation”. I disagree.  Education is free in Brazil, from first grade to College. If you are a good student, you can actually graduate in Law or Medicine or anything you wish, without paying a penny. The minimum wage in Brazil has always been very low, and whenever there are attempts to increase the rate, there are cries that it will “break the economy”.

If  a middle class family cannot afford a maid, the maids will be forced to study and develop skills to compete in the job market. Instead, some of them work for the same family for years, always treated with condescendence, as if they were the family pet. Many don’t get married and don’t have their own families. The ones who do have to leave their employers’ house  at the end of the day (long hours, weekends) and try to tend to their families. I often questioned how these people would find the energy to clean their own houses, cook their own food after a day of doing the same for others.

What is most appalling is that there are still some Brazilian women who have full time maids and don’t work. They live a life of total laziness. When their kids get older, they don’t even have the excuse that they need to chauffeur their kids around. They live totally useless lives of vanity and lack of purpose. The “housewives” are almost in extinction, since most Brazilian girls nowadays want to have a career.

Slavery lasted in Brazil intil 1888, when Princess Isabel signed the document that freed all slaves. But the slave mentality has lasted for centuries. The Brazilian middle class, usually “white”, descending from the Portuguese colonizers, has always looked down on domestic workers or physical laborers. Physical labor is considered low class. You will never see the owner of a nice house in Brazil mowing his own lawn. Nor will you see him doing any repairs in his property. Labor is cheap, so why bother? Better to have your beer and watch the soccer game on TV.

A few years ago, I had this experience I speak a lot about: I was visiting my parents, who have had a long time gardener, a very humble man with lot’s of kids (another characteristic of the unpriviliged classes in Brazil). He was outside tending to the flowers and I had just arrived from the airport.  When I saw him, I went outside and stretched my hand to shake his hand, and asked him how he was doing. The man was in shock. The boss’ daughter, a “rich” woman in his mind, had treated him as a human being. He spoke about the event for a long time. How sad.

That is one thing about living in America that I like: you learn to see all human beings as equal. Your plumber is not beneath you (hey, he usually makes more money than you!). The cleaning woman who comes to your ofice after hours is like you too, and is entitled to go to the same restaurants and shops that you go, whatever race, color, size and shape she is.

There are some exceptions though. There are some families that treat their long time maids as one of the family. I remember seeing some maids who loved the people they worked for and were loved back.  These women were taken care of financially and emotionally by these families. And in the last decade, there are more and more successful professionals that pay their maids well and treat them with total respect.

Notwithstanding the good examples, Brazil still has a long way to go when it comes to eliminating the insidious class mentality.

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Difference between cultures, Society | 14 Comments

Gaydom in two different cultures

Even though the right to legally marry is still not extended to all gay people in America, I think this is one of the most tolerant societies when it comes to acceptance of gays.  We still have a long way to go, and we have to fight the Christian Right’s intolerance of gays and old fashioned view as people “with a curable disease” as opposed as a trait you are born with.

When talking to a co-worker recently,  I asked him where he lived. He said he lived with his boyfriend in XYZ. I was not a bit taken aback, having gotten used to hearing “my boyfriend” coming from a man and “my girlfriend” coming from a woman. But I have to confess that while living in Brazil, I was less used to hearing that, and I was wondering why.

Are Brazilians more prejudiced against gays? I think Brazilians make more fun of gays, and is considered acceptable to do so. We have derogatory names to call both homossexual men and women. Obviously we have them here too, but it is not politically correct to use them in social and professional circles.  But Brazil is a very politically incorrect country. Derogatory comments about Blacks, Gays, Asians (they call Japanese descendants “Japa”), Middle Eastern people (they call anyone from that part of the world “Turk”, usually meaning someone who is money greedy), poor and working class folks are tossed around in parties, groups of friends and inside families. The prejudice rolls from one generations to another.

From 1990 to 1996 I participated as a Sociologist in a talk show like “The View” in the city of Curitiba. The panel was made by men and women, and they would discuss current issues and events. There was sometimes a special guest. One of the shows we had was about gay rights. I remember defending then right for gay people to marry back then, when the discussion was not even on the plate. I think we will soon achieve this victory in America, with the more liberal winds that are blowing.

For some reason though, some American gay men think Rio is a gay paradise. The city, and Brazil itself, is very tolerant of gay men. This seems to conflict with the description I made above, so let me explain: Brazilians are more open minded about sex and showing their bodies. Our culture is less uptight. A gay man in Brazil is not afraid to dress “gay”, to wear colorful and feminine clothing (not to confuse with transvestites, who are also abundant  in Brazil) and to talk in a very effeminate way. People just see him as the “friendly gay”, the talented hairdresser, the exhuberant artist, the excentric fashion designer.  Almost like a charicature of gay men.  I often wondered when I was growing up, how these men lived their day to day, if they had families, a group of friends, places they frequented. Even though Brazilians treat them in a light and condescending way (Brazil does not many cases of violence against gay men, not persecution such as an Arab coutnries), they still are social mistfits, and do not belong to the normal, formal society of couplehood.

When I moved to America and then became single again, I was surprised by the fact that the gay men I met were normal people: serious, professional , with very little speech affection or feminine dress style.  Sometimes I would see a good looking male who would not make eye contact with me and laterI would  find out he was gay, feeling a bit deceived. I remember thinking I prefered gay men in Brazil, who were so “out there”, there was no chance of single women mistaking them for a potential love interest. 

I can say that living in America has taught me to respect both gay men and women more.  Not only that, my interest in Science has also opened my eyes that, contrary to what Miss California thinks, gay people are born that way, one more reason for us to embrace them and respect them. I hope a man saying “my husband” and a woman saying “my wife” will raise less and less eyebrows.

May 12, 2009 Posted by | Society | Leave a comment

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga -“Poker Face”

The name is silly, the appearance is an imitation of Christina Aguillera, Britney Spears and Madonna. One more bleach blonde singer wearing sexy tight clothes on stage? Deja vu. But this girl has a powerful and unique voice, and she brought back fun dance songs, which lately had been too influenced by hip hop. Turn the music high and shake it!

May 12, 2009 Posted by | Music | Leave a comment