Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Men who don’t like to be single

From the experience I have gathered by living several decades, I have seen many kinds of couples. Couples who like to do everything together like twins, couples who enjoy many things together but also have their own activities and friends and couples who have very separate lives, seeing little of each other.

Numbers one and two seem to work well, but inevitably when I see number three I later find out they divorced, and I am not surprised. For that matter, I remember meeting a couple a few decades ago who told me they had an open marriage. A couple of years later I heard they were divorced. I guess no one is totally immune to jealousy!

My parents have marriage type number 1 and it works very well for them, but they do belong to an older generation. Nowadays, life has many distractions and offers many more possibilities. It’s impossible to like everything the same way, and it also healthy that men can play sports and relate to other men, and that women can spend some time with her woman friends, although I oppose activities that include flirting with the opposite sex.

Some men (and women as well) cannot be alone. There are men who do not want to be the loner, the bachelor and do not want to “score” many women. All they want is one good companion, someone they feel comfortable with. These men often do not like to dine alone, go to the movies alone or travel alone, and prefer to have a woman to do those things with. Paul McCartney is the first example that pops to my mind.

Paul had a longstanding and happy marriage, and feeling alone, jumped into a fast relationship with a much younger woman who had a shady past as a “sexy model”: Heather.  He admired her work with landmine victims and did not have enough time to see her real personality. Their differences became obvious and unsurmountable and we all know what happened. As that marriage went kaput, we all thought Paul would become a little relationship shy, but it seems that this time he found someone who has her head on her shoulders and is more compatible with him: Nancy Shevell.  Paul is never seen without her, and he is an example of a man who likes to have a woman in his life.

Like my parents who are each other’s best friends and do everything together, Paul seems to like that arrangement. Another couple that comes to mind is Nancy and Ronald Reagan.  They came first to anyone around them, and there was a huge sense of admiration between them.  Besides having common interests and preferences, it seems that admiration is a strong factor between couples who have a very tight marriage.

At the opposite side of the spectrum, I see many marriages where the husband and wife are together out of laziness. They don’t do anything together.  It can take years for you to meet their spouse. When the man refers to his wife, it is with sarcasm. She travels with her girlfriends not with him. He is always seen with his buddies, not with her. For some strange reason (kids, money, habit?) they don’t get a divorce.

In your opinion, which is the best kind of marriage? And in which category do you put your own marriage?

Sir Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell (

              Nancy and Paul


April 29, 2009 - Posted by | Relationships

1 Comment »

  1. Interesting blog…I was the lazy guy with a marrige of conveinence…never again. It’s a balance really, isn’t it? Having a great relationship where neither one smothers the other? Built with admiration, trust,respect and love?

    Easy words to say but a tough thing to find for sure.

    Comment by Tom Copeland | May 29, 2009 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: