Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Lessons learned with the David Goldman case

I heard recently that every American man who marries a Brazilian woman should be weary, since she might want to go back to her country one day. I know numerous cases of Brazilian women married to American men who are stable in this country and would not think of going back. Those who have no kids with an American man have no problem to deal with, and  there are those who want to go back but would not separate children from their father, so they wait for the kids to grow up.

The David and Bruna Goldman story teaches us a lesson, and this can occur between different countries and nationalities. Some people have a harder time adapting to a new country. Some have very tight ties with their families, or feel their lives would be better or easier in their mother country.  When children are part of the equation, things are much more complicated. And this applies to most divorces where one parent feels the need to move to another state or city, or is transferred because of their job: how to share the kids. Invariably, kids live with their moms and visit with their Dads. This seems to be the most common arrangement, but there are all kinds of arrangements. Mothers who abandon their children, fathers who abandon their children. Fathers who do not conform in being weekend fathers, mothers who think they are entitled to have full custody, etc. But sometimes couples from different countries face a bigger challenge: the vast distance betweeen both countries.

In Bruna’s case, she did not want to stay in the United States and decided that her son would stay with her no matter what, and screw the father. She wished the father would just disappear magically, but he did not.

My advice to men who marry foreign women, or Brazilian women such as this case: talk to your bride about what would happen if she wants to return to her country. Even have some kind of agreement made in advance about what would happen in that case or in case of divorce. Know what you are dealing with and what to expect in case anything happens.


March 19, 2009 - Posted by | Being a mother, Difference between cultures, Relationships, Society

1 Comment »

  1. Too bad that one person ruins the reputation of many other decent and honest people. I am a brazilian woman married with an american man and we do have 2 children. We are very happy together and I would NEVER do such a thing to him and especially to my own children.However after this episode with Bruna and David, I’ve been hearing not so funny jokes in this matter even from my in laws, that now are afraid to take my kids to Brazil by myself, not that I wanted to, because our family always travels together, the rule is we all go, or we all stay.

    Comment by Ingela | April 15, 2009 | Reply

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