Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Golddiggers and Jerks

A post from a reader prompted me to write about this: the misconceptions that both sexes are having towards the other. Many young men are growing up hearing from other males that every woman is a gold digger, and many young women hear horror stories of all the jerks that are out there.

Yes, there are many horror stories, but you have to choose carefully who you date and eventually marry. You have to watch for red flags and signs. You cannot marry someone when your hormones are the ones doing the thinking.

Yes, there are some women who have low self esteem and who have dreams of a jet-setting life. These women will do anything to meet a rich man to support their Manolo-Louis Vuitton-Ritz Carlton lifestyle. The man can look like a rhinocero, but they will make him feel like Paul Newman in exchange for dining at the latest hotspots.  A smart man who is looking for a date should be well aware that the sexy woman dressed to kill at the bar, with very revealing clothes, is not there to find love but to find a man with deep pockets. When she asks you how much you make on your first date and wants to check out what car you drive, do not be disappointed when years later she tries to take half of your money in the divorce courts!

Similarly, many women put up with the bad boys only to be severely broken hearted later. If the guy lies to you, cheats on you, is always late, disappears for days, treats your family with disrespect, forgets your birthday, ignores you when you are down and out or sick and avoids any talk of marriage after years of dating, do not be surrprised when he leaves you for your best friend or exchanges you for a younger model when your wrinkles start showing!

Of course nothing is black or white. The bimbo at the bar can become a nice companion. The bad boyfriend can become a loving husband. Hard, but possible. Some people mature and change.

The point I want to make is that even though there are many horror stories, there are even more nice and normal folks out there. Young women who are smart and want to find a good man, who want to work and develop their careers and be good mothers. Guys who can be faithful to one woman, who are serious about working and studying and can also be present fathers (see Obama!!).

In order to avoid falling prey to golddiggers and jerks, men and women have to:

1) Look at the earliest signs of problematic behaviors in the relationship. Trust your gut.

2) Men,  women who are very hot but brainless and egotistical will probably not make very good wives. Yes, they are hot, but one day they will only be slutty. Alas, there is a difference between being sluty and sexy. You can be sexy and have class. If she is flirting with other men in front of you, be warned. Such women many times come from dysfunctional families and/or have emotional and pyschological issues.

3) Women, guys who are “exciting”, who like to show off, who stare at other women when with you, who are unreliable and who do not respect your needs will NOT be good husbands, unless they have a brain transplant. This is the way they are (some have ADD and other personality disorders or just grew up in dysfuncional and abusive households). Yes, I know the nice guys are not as exciting, not as challenging to “get”, but they will be the ones who will hold your hand when you have breast cancer.

There are many nice men and women out there. Please don’t generalize and think all women are golddiggers and all men are jerks. If you think so, maybe you need to expand your circles. You are hanging out with the wrong crowd!


how to tell if a guy is a jerk, jerks, how to tell if a guy is in love with you, he is not in love with you, true love,
You know he is not in love with you if:

He doesn’t call.

You find yourself making up excuses for why he doesn’t call.

He calls you only when he wants sex.

He doesn’t show genuine concern and care.

His buddies take precedence.

He doesn’t want others to know about your relationship.

He would rather play video games than be with you.

Your gut tells you he is not really in love with you.

You find yourself trying to deny feelings of being used.

You have a sense that you are one of many.

He lies to you about his whereabouts or behaviors.

He keeps making excuses for his uncaring actions.

He emotionally, mentally, or physically abuses you.

You feel you are a possession rather than a beloved.




November 7, 2008 - Posted by | Relationships

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