Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

Racing widows with a reason

I was at the Summit Point raceway yesterday where my husband was participating in a racing competition.

Many men complain their wives do not support their hobbies. I decided to give it a chance. What a major disappointment!

There is nothing that is attractive to a woman in a place like this. Heat, a constant smell of fumes and burnt tires, horrible deafening noise of cars going fast and slutty looking women. Watching cars go by fast is as interesting as sitting by the DC Beltway watching the traffic go by…The food sold in these places is as crappy and unhealthy as it comes. There is little respite from the sun. I would say that hell is probably not too different from a racetrack..

It must only be interesting for the racer himself who is there to get his kicks.

Additionally, I saw 3 crashes happening. These guys were lucky not to get hurt, protection and all. What a senseless and stupid acitivity.

Even if you have a motorhome stocked with good food, this is just a very boring place to be.¬† I am sure there are racetracks in nice beach cities where the woman can do more fun things, but who wants to do these things alone all day? Racetracks should be next to a nice outlet (with unlimited spending credit cards, ha ha) or have a nice spa in them where the women could have massages and facials and talk to each other ūüôā

Racing is probably the worst hobby a man in a committed relationship can have, since your husband will not be gone for a few hours, but for days-always on weekends. Your choice is to stay alone those days or go with him-and suffer. Why can’t¬†racing events be more family friendly so the guys can bring their wives and kids? Why do they have to slutify¬†these events with half naked girls? There is hardly any comfort or actitivities for wives and girlfriends to congregate while their husbands get their adrenaline fix.

It would be much more pleasant for women if they could interact and spend a leisurely day at the racetrack. What I see instead are married men alone while their wives are at home.  I can imagine how hard it is for them to be alone for many weekends at a time, especially if their husbands or boyfriends are addicted to the sport.

Again, this is not a hobby where your husband goes and plays tennis, golf or soccer with his friends and comes home after a few hours. This is a huge commitmment that many times sacrifices the partners.

Another unconfortable situation for wives and girlfriends of racers: at¬†the final prize event,¬†there are semi naked women handing the winners the prizes.¬†For some stupid reason they are supposed to embrace and take a picture with the stripper lookalike.¬†¬†¬† If someone needed to be in a picture with him it should be me, who stood in the sun all day and who patiently waited for hours and hours ūüôā

I hope one day he gets this out of his system. Or limits it to…once a year ūüôā

If he¬†feels like¬†racing frequently, I will become one more racing widow. Racing widows, fishing widows and hunting widows…not much fun. Or who knows, I may want to go to Hedonism I on the weekends he is away….:)

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August 22, 2008 Posted by | Relationships | 2 Comments

Message to Jennifer Aniston

Dear Jennifer Aniston:

One of the most painful things a human being can go through is being cheated by their partner. Your marriage was still new and you probably had dreams for your future. I am sure you went through a lot of pain.

However, you are in a milieu that is very difficult for couples to stay faithful.  Being married to the sexiest man alive who also happens to be a coveted actor is as risky as driving your motorbike at top speed without a helmet.

Stop looking for another Brad Pitt. Stop looking for models and singers younger than you. Find an accomplished and smart man who will adore you and think you are the cherry on his sundae. He may be a lawyer, or a painter, a professor or a medical doctor, but you need someone who will like you more than you like him. Looking at the pictures of you and John Maher, the body language was obvious: you clingy and romantic, while him feeling slightly guilty from leading you on and looking uneasy.

Are you trying to move fast from guy to guy so the world doesn’t feel pity for your being alone? So that Perez Hilton does not make fun of your lack of luck post-Brad? If that is the case, it is a mistake. You need to find someone because you like him and not because you cannot be seen alone.

Next guy you meet, call me and I will analyze the body language between you two for free :). Body language is potent, it speaks volumes.

I sincerely hope you find a nice, smart and decent looking guy because you seem to be a genuinely nice girl who married for love and took a slap on the face.

Cheers,

Grace

August 14, 2008 Posted by | Relationships, Society | 6 Comments

Politicians and truth embellishment

Politicians are famous for lying, but they actually¬†embellish the truth. Fabricated lies are too costly if discovered. Instead, they enhance their accomplishments, pose as family men when in reality¬†they are neglectful husbands or parents, exaggerate what they can effectively achieve in office and¬† pretend to care for those who they represent. The smiles are fake, the handshakes are fake, the friendships are fake.¬† The hard truth is that the majority of politicians are in it for one reason only: personal gain. Whether it is financial gain, power seeking, ego stroking or influence, they will say whatever their constituents want to hear. Campaign strategists tell them what to embellish and what to downplay or to hide. It’s¬†a sad reality.

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Politics | Leave a comment

The “Stand by your man” nonsense

The recent scandals from cheating politicians has left every married woman in this country paranoid. Is my husband also going to cheat? Do all men cheat? Fortunately the answer is no, there are men who love their wives or who do not want to hurt them and have good judgement.

The women who get into these affairs are 50% partners in crime. They should know better, but they lack morals and values. They are often women with low self esteem who are angry about some aspect of their lives, so they want what belongs to someone else and won’t stop at anything to get that. As we live in an era of slut glorifying, where prostitutes and lose women are role models and even get their own reality show, these women probably think they are doing nothing wrong and are in reality having a great opportunity. Frankly, their reputation is soiled, the respect is gone.

Many articles have tried to explain why polticians cheat: a sense of entitlement that power gives you, an inflated ego, women hitting on you, too much time away from home, a lying lifestyle (politics involve lying, so many get adept at it).

Some articles have recently tried to explain why most of these politician’s wives stick to the marriage and even agree to pose in public while supporting their idiot husbands. Why on earth do they go through this? Why be so humiliated? Most of these women have enough money to go on with their lives with dignity. If they enjoy the power trip so much, the fountain dries up because their husband’s career is over. Even if it is for the noble cause of keeping the children and the family intact, how is it between them? Isn’t the intimacy broken forever? Isn’t the damage too big?

I never understood why Hillary stayed. An intelligent, highly educated¬†and self sufficient woman. She could have made senator by herself. I do not understand why Silda Spritzer stayed. I can understand why Larry Craig’s wife stayed (older, unnatractive, in denial).

If I were told to stand by my husband at a press conference, I would probably take the mike and say loud and clear what a jackass he is and then walk out, with my head held up high…

Standing by your man means supporting him through a job loss, through illness, through life’s ups and downs, but¬†NOT by putting up with such betrayal.¬† And please, there is no better or worse cheating, whether it is a one night stand or an affair, it will cause a lot of pain.

I know one woman who had the courage to leave a cheating husband. She was married to a foreign ambassador in DC. She opted to greatly reduce her lifestyle, be alone, find a job and support herself,  and she does not regret it for one second. I admire her courage.

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Politics | Leave a comment

Getting married for the right reasons

Many marriages fail because people were not getting married for the right reasons and somehow realize later that the person they married is too different from them and has different goals in life. Marrying someone for their beauty, for their money or for fear of being alone of course backfires. I came to realize through life experience that opposites may attract at first but get divorced later. Having common interests, levels of energy, goals and tastes makes life easier. Couples who are too different and who have separate lives tend to grow apart, and are more vunerable to infidelity. I am not advocating marrying your twin, or being glued 24/7, but there has to be common ground for a couple to stick together through life’s ups and downs. if he wants to spend his whole evening playing fanstasy football while ignoring his wife, there will be resentment on her part. If she chooses being with her girlfriends more than being with him, there will be resentment. If he chooses to have a hobby that excludes his wife, there will be resentment. If he is outdoorsy and she is a couch potato, they will drift apart, if she is very social and he only wants to stay home, they will drift apart, if she likes to travel and he doesn’t, there will be conflicts, if he eats healthy and she doesn’t, there can be some conflict about where and what to eat/cook, if he is a bookworm and she is an airhead, they will have little to talk about, if she likes art and he only wants to watch sports, that may generate conflicts, if she only wants to watch dramas and he only likes action movies, they will end up watching movies separately and the list goes on and on…. These differences will always exist in every relationship. Women and men are different, our brain structure and chemistry are different, but there is a degree where too many differences, added to selfishness and lack of compromise, can ruin any relationship. So my advice to those younger than me who are contemplating marriage is: see how compatible you two are. Do you want a marriage where you do not do anything together? When the romance and lust end (the famous honeymoon period), will there be common interets to hold you two together?

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Relationships | Leave a comment

More on differences between the US and Brazil

In Brazil and many other countries, you buy your prescription drugs in pharmacies and get a package containing usually 30 or 45 or 60 pills. You get them immediately and walk out.

In the US, I already get moody every time I have to brave the pharmacy line. First you have to go to drop off, then they tell you to come back 20 or 30 minutes later, then you return and face the pick up line, after giving the pharmacist your name and waiting for them to find your prescription amongst others’. It is an ordeal. Additionally, ¬†many doctors do not give you an amount that covers you for 6 months, let’s say, or the pharmacy only allows you to buy a month’s supply at a time. So you need repeated visits to your local pharmacy if you are taking long term drugs, like birth control pills. I have no idea why birth control pills need prescription, they should be given free to prevent superpopulation!

The only advantage I see in the American system is that you have almost no left overs. In Brazil, If you have 60 pills and only need 50, you throw away 10. Still, I wonder if there is a monetary gain in this system.  Readers, if you are more familiar with the system, please enlighten me. Thank you.

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Difference between cultures | Leave a comment

Nipples are evil

A funny thng happened another day: I went to my gym on an extremely muggy and hot DC summer evening wearing a sports bra. The bra is thick and has support, however, you can see a faint outline of nipples through the fabric. I am not talking transparent mind you. Oh horror,¬†men’s eyes were on my nipples.¬† I was breaking another American code/rule/custom/habit which is “Thou shall never show nipples”!

Growing up in the tropical country of Brazil and also during the 70’s, not wearing a bra was always an option, especially when you are young and your breasts are small and firm.¬† Nipples can still be seen everywhere in Brazil, even with the push up bra fashion (unfortunately, Brazilians have also been seduced by the big boobs mania).

I don’t see anything wrong with showing nipples; men also show theirs when they wear t-shirts. I am not advocating see-through clothing, but what’s wrong with showing some nipples especially if you are at a gym for chrissakes?

That is one more aspect of the false morality of this country.¬† It is ok for a man in a committed relationship to go to a topless bar but it is not ok for¬†a normal woman to show an outline of her nipples on a summer day. Please. Let’s free the American nipples!

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Society | 2 Comments

Are the worst drivers in the US in DC?

The DC area is huge, and is comprised of several suburbs in Maryland and Virginia surrounding the capital of the United States. Montgomery and Fairfax counties are the most populated. If someone can prove to me there are worse drivers elsewhere, I¬†may believe it, but ¬†until then I will continue to believe this area has¬†gathered all the bad drivers in the world ūüôā

When I got my green card through a visa lottery, I chose this area to live because I had once visited it while my parents were living here. I loved the green, the beauty of the monuments, the proximity to New York and beaches and Europe; the not so cold winters and the cultural diversity. However, this same diversity makes this area seem to have the worst drivers in the country. 

Without fail, I get irritated by bad drivers on a daily basis. They are everywhere, constant, and I even know by looking at the car if the driver will be bad. Without sounding prejudiced, people who drive older cars, conservative cars in neutral and boring colors and SUV drivers are in the worst driver category.  I have heard the joke many times over that since there are so many immigrants in this area, many had never driven a car in their countries of origin (but a bicycle or a donkey instead :)).

 I am from Brazil, but every Brazilian prides himself/herself in being a good driver. We grew up watching Formula One, we need to develop skills to drive in the crazy traffic of the big cities. Additionally, we drve stick shift all our lives, so driving in America  is to us a piece of cake.

I see people chatting on their cell phones every day. It is amazing how little attention they pay when they are talking and how they hold up traffic or forget to signal. By the way, I have a beef with the lack of signaling. What is so darn hard about announcing to someone behind you where you are going to turn?

Some drivers seem terrified of driving. They clutch to their steering wheels, they brake incessantly. And they cannot merge! I feel like having a big red display on the front of my car saying MERGE every time people stop in merging lanes holding a line of traffic.

Slow drivers on the left lane also drive me crazy. And to piss you off further, they go even slower when they see you are trying to pass them. Folks, sometimes a fast driver who is talented and knows what he is doing is a lot less dangerous than slow and unskilled drivers. That is why I am so against the excessive ticketing from cops around the US, which we well know is not for safety but for revenue. Just another form of taxation.

Both times¬†I got a ticket I was not in any way imposing any danger to anyone or myself for going a few miles over the speed limit. It’s KACHING in the traffic courts of America! Take a look at the¬†National Motorists Association website to see what I am talking about: http://www.motorists.org/blog/

I think we give out licenses too easily. Tests should not be short drives going 10 mph and paralell parking should not be the eliminator; instead, take someone to the Washington area beltway and see if they can drive fast in jam packed traffic!

And finally, let’s not let very old people drive. They are a real threat. I will be old like that in a few decades, but I think old people should use public transportation, or¬†special shuttle¬†buses just for them. We need to take good care of our elderly who worked for us to be where we are.

August 1, 2008 Posted by | Society | 4 Comments