Brasilmagic\’s Weblog

Venting to the World

“Abhorrecence”

Adolescence….more like abhorrence….

As a mother of two young women, I sometimes have my feelings hurt when they don’t treat me as well as I treat them.  I am constantly calling them sweet names, doing things for them, calling them on the phone in a cheery mood and hugging and kissing them.  While sometimes they are in a good and loving mood, sometimes what I get is impatience. They get impatient with me. They say “duh” if I say something obvious. They talk back to me irritably. They make fun of me when I try to make a comment on their favorite TV show which I do not follow. They go to bed without saying good night. They call me when they need something but they can be blunt on the phone when I call them to say hello, as if I am nuisance.  They are in their late teens and early adulthood, so I thought this would be over around 15, but it happened later than I thought.

When your kid goes off to College, they get used to their independance. When they come back home to visit, they resent feeling like little children again.  They resent that they are still financially dependant on their parents and need to stay with them when school’s out. They think of themselves as adults, so at home they feel reduced to that little child again to had to obey his or her mother’s orders. This also happens to adult children my age when they visit their own parents and feel the childhood tensions climbing back.

Maybe we all are a bit impatient with someone a generation ahead. Maybe we all long to be independant and away from our parents when we feel we are grown up.  Maybe our parents’ aging and physical deterioration reminds us that life ends. Anyway, there are good moments and bad moments, but they do not know that even though I just shrug when they treat me like that, deep inside I am hurt. I am sure many mothers of teenagers and young adults feel the same.

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June 18, 2008 - Posted by | Being a mother

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