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Venting to the World

The kiss of death in marriage: no French kissing

I have this theory that I would love to do a scientific research about: when couples stop French kissing, and start  giving each other little pecks, their passion is gone. That is the beginning of what can become a relationship of “brother and sister”, which can lead to separate lives and divorce. Other couples just stay together without passion due to a sense of responsability, family and common interests.

Divorce has many causes, we all know. Differences about money, interference of in-laws, different goals, sexual problems, addiction, infidelity, merged family problems and so on. But my guess is that when a couple stops having intimate kisses, kisses where you exchange saliva, the atraction is starting to wane. French kissing while having sex or when hugging or watching TV, for example, is a very intimate and passionate act to share with your lover.

How long do couples French kiss before they stop? They say passion lasts no more than 2 years. I wonder if that is about the time couples stop French kissing.

Let me know what you think. Do you still French kiss your partner?

frechnh

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May 14, 2009 - Posted by | Relationships, Sex

25 Comments »

  1. my partner and i pec lol we have been together five years i dont know when it stopped but he doesnt brush his teeth enough i think that is why and sex got to much the same…

    Comment by kayla | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  2. Shit!! That’s so fucking true. My partner and I’ve been together for close to 4 years, and a year and a half ago, the saliva exchange ritual just stopped. And then sex went downhill..And now she’s in some other town, gone to study for the next two years. Should I just move on?

    Comment by Hannoff Piotr | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  3. I think you are right when the kissing stops the passion is leaving. They say to start back kissing after you have stopped couples should start with a 10 second kiss every day and move on from there.

    Comment by jason | August 1, 2009 | Reply

  4. I have the opposite problem. We’ve been dating a month and slept together a few times and have yet to french kiss. She expects me to get turned on by her touch and body and little pecks. I feel like I’m in a 1950′s movie. She is smoking hot so I’ll give it some time, but I think this is her way of avoiding becoming emotionally attached.

    Comment by not kissing | August 11, 2009 | Reply

  5. oral sex on the first date means you really like each other. If you are going to bed with a woman and no orgasms are happening, run quickly…

    Comment by Samuel Clemens | October 6, 2009 | Reply

  6. I agree kissing and affection should be present in every marriage if possible.

    Comment by Tom Baker | November 24, 2009 | Reply

  7. Sooooo true. Together 9 years. Married 6. Now we even sleep in seperate rooms. We like each other. Just no more passion at all

    Comment by blah | May 18, 2010 | Reply

  8. This is unbelievably true…french kissing is soooo teen…my husband and i have not french kissed for years…when you really think about it…with all the germs that we are aware of now…and unbrushed teeth…its just so gross….there is no doubt in my mind that just because you dont deep throat eachother with your tongues that that means you are not in love…we have the best sex life ever…i prefer to suck on his lip or something like that instead of shoving my tongue down his throat…

    Comment by So True | July 27, 2010 | Reply

  9. My husband and i have been married for fourteen years, he had an affair and said we stopped french kissing. It was rare and i cant remember the number of years we were together where it all stopped. we give pecs but nothing more! very rare was a french kiss. I was lazy to do it but when i started it was ok but chose not to kiss. we are headed for a divorec because he will not leave his mistress. I’m sure they kiss all the time. He even says he loves her.

    Comment by rachel | November 19, 2010 | Reply

  10. I`m 72 and a widower. Married for 42 years and really loved Maxine. Had cancer the last 8 years and we still had intimcy as much as possible. Miss french kissing while having sex Would love to again. Any interested? Please email me. Am in Rockingham area of West Australia. Thanks laybye

    Comment by Bill Wallace | December 14, 2010 | Reply

  11. yeah its true !!! if wife n husband not kissing it means there is no intimacy bet them ……

    Comment by priya | February 2, 2011 | Reply

  12. I love french kissing. Some people don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy these people. It is passionate and it is sexual. Some describe French kissing as childish. To each his own. But in America, as you mentioned in another post, it’s all about Puritanism. So I it’s not surprising if many people in the U.S. don’t do it.

    Comment by RamonB | February 13, 2011 | Reply

  13. Sex was meant to feel good because it is the starting of a new life (pro-creation)
    Since humans do not follow instructions from Christ, humans want self satisfaction,you will have rape,incest,teenage pregancy,pornography,abortions,etc.
    The passion is the attraction to have intercourse, to create. Love is what you should grow. Couples think that since we do not have intercourse, we must not be in love. Do you see the child like mentality.

    Comment by Todd Chavey | February 19, 2011 | Reply

  14. I totally agree that intimacy nose dives when kissing stops. I love to french kiss but when I told my partner to always brush very well bcos of the offensive mouth odor, that was the funeral of french kissing in the marriage. We make love now without kissing and to me it feels like I am making love to a whore bcos I know that whores do not kiss.

    Comment by Logbon | September 14, 2011 | Reply

  15. Hello Brasilmagic,

    I have had the pleasure of traveling to Rio for the Carnival celebration for two years, with 2012 being my 3rd time. I have usually spent no less than 10 to 12 days in the city of Copacabana. As I read your blog entries, I wondered if the advice you shared included this city during this time of year. I noticed some things to be true, such as the class and color prejudice, culminating with my being called the “N” word for the first time in over 25 yrs by a “white” man. But the females that I have encountered seemed to fall into one of two categories. Either they were “working girls” at the beach and/or the “balcony” or they were women working at one of the numerous businesses as employees. I found those at the businesses to be very “stand-offish” and disinterested in meeting a foreigner, especially if he did not speak portuguese. The working girls were willing to meet anyone for the right price. I wanted to inquire about some of the do’s and don’ts about approaching business women in the city of Rio. I ask this because I noticed that many of the business women knew the “working girls” and there did not seem to be a stigma attached on how each group chose to earn their respective monies. I was surprized to see the number of older (40+) women that were renting themselves on the beach. Based on the lack of a stigma on the selling of sex as a career choice, I wonder about how brasilianas feel about sex as an activity? Here in California, american women feel that it is the ultimate act that should happen only if the parties are in love or there has been sufficient dates and money spent to merit the “gift” from a female. Is sex viewed in the same way as the american female sees it? Thanks, Sidney

    Comment by Sidney Payne | November 18, 2011 | Reply

    • You had a tiny view into Brazilian society. You went to a tourist trap (probably Copacabana) which is notorious for sex workers. It’s like an American going to the Red Light District in Amsterdam and saying that all Dutch people sell themselves and do drugs. Most Brazilians do not condone prostitution, and I’m not sure what you mean by “business women”. If you want to see normal Brazilian women, you had to at least visit other neighborhoods such as Leblon, Barra, Sao Conrado, Laranjeiras, etc. You are spreading the old stereotype that Brazilian women are “easy” and sex maniacs based on a bunch of prostitutes in a tourist trap!

      Comment by Brasilmagic | December 1, 2011 | Reply

  16. I try to with my husband but he’s a bit more shy about the whole thing. He’s not a passionate kisser and I am so in that sense I’m definitely more aggressive. I usually initiate the kiss during our more intimate moments but kissing is something I still love doing and it is sad that couples stop after after a few years together.

    Comment by annsd | December 16, 2011 | Reply

  17. This is really interesting, You are an overly professional blogger. I have joined your feed and stay up for searching for extra of your magnificent post. Additionally, I’ve shared your site in my social networks

    Comment by brazil women for marriage | January 29, 2012 | Reply

  18. my husband just told he is going to leave me because we dont french kiss. We have been married now for twenty two years.

    Comment by Maria Adams | March 12, 2012 | Reply

    • You better start cuz i wanna leave my wife cuz we don’t no more. The only thing stoping me is that i luv her so much. Do d right thing

      Comment by Rob | May 26, 2012 | Reply

  19. My husband and I don’t ever. French kiss any more I thought maybe it was cuz I had bad breath but it hurts to know the truth . So do that mean he is falling out of love with me

    Comment by Tiffany | January 21, 2013 | Reply

  20. My husband and I don’t ever. French kiss any more I thought maybe it was cuz I had bad breath but it hurts to know the truth . So do that mean he is falling out of love with me I mean I brush everyday and rinse wit mouth wash I even try to tell him he never kisses me but just pecks me it starts a fight so I don’t even talk about it any more

    Comment by Tiffany | January 21, 2013 | Reply

  21. This is an interesting theory! My husband and I are together now 3 1/2 years and we still French kiss and sex is still wonderful. However, I am the type of woman who 1) loves sex and 2) realizes it’s importance in maintaining a happy, healthy marriage!

    Comment by Alison | December 19, 2013 | Reply

  22. I made a massive mistake it seems and married a woman who quickly become not bothered about kissing and hugging. I regard kissing and hugging as not just normal but essential to a healthy relationship, and find it excruciatingly frustrating that this is absent. To me it is a sign that the other person couldn’t given a damn….which is not what marriage is about in my book.

    Comment by George | January 8, 2014 | Reply

  23. I am a Brazilian woman living with my wonderful American boyfriend for about 6.5 years. We have a beautiful relationship and, even though a long time has passed we are still very much in love. Yes, we tongue kiss less but we also have discovered new ways to please each. The intimacy and trust we’ve developed along these years allow us to truly enjoy sex. My point is that no unique factor (in this case french kissing) can determine whether or not couples are still in love, or even how good their sex life is. I, for one, did a lot of french kissing in Brazil but orgasms were few and far between ;-)

    Comment by Estella | January 25, 2014 | Reply


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