Mid-Age and female friendships

When girls become teenagers, they usually have a best friend at school or in their neighborhood. As they become adults, life changes such as new jobs, marriage, kids and relocation sometimes makes the best female friend fall into the backdrop of life. Some young women while vying for male attention become very competitive, and prefer to surround themselves with male friends instead of female ones. And many of us while married prioritize the relationship with our husbands, children and the new family unit we build for ourselves.

Something happens though after our forties: we need our female friends more than ever. Middle age can be a time of our lives where big changes happens: menopause, divorce, empty nest, cancer, loneliness, aging parents…life stresses that all of us can go through. That is when having a network of good female friends can be a buffer, a respite, a support. Women are less competitive when more mature. We know we do not have the power to seduce every man that walks by anymore, so we are not so focused on looks anymore. We don’t see other women as competition. Additionally, we see many of our “sisters” going through the same life changes that we do, and a bond is formed.  Finally, we have more common interests with these women from our generation than with the men in our lives.  Ah, and we all share our cheap reading glasses when we go out

Daily irritants

Everyone has those constant irritants that make our day worse.  Here are some of them:

1. Slow drivers. Those people who apparently love to spend time in traffic…

2. Products that need scissors to open

3. Products with instructions in very fine print (the population is aging!)

4. Screaming talk show audiences screaming: they drive me nuts

5. Ads that are much louder than the show you are watching

6) Auto-correct on the iPhone when you are typing in another language

7. People that write to you in caps

8. People who send you chain emails with cheesy slides

9. People talking loudly in a foreign language in a public space (I have been guilty of this once or twice..)

10. Medical bills sent sometimes 6 months + after an appointment

11. Drivers who don’t signal

12. Needing reading glasses for everything, and no laser surgery for that yet

13. Parents who take all their young kids-and strollers-to the mall on a busy day

More to come..patience is not my strongest virtue

Doces Cariocas will have a show for David Goldman

Pierre Aderne, the leader of the Brazilian musical group “Doces Cariocas”, will have a show at the end of August for the Bring Sean Home cause. I am happy that a Brazilian artist decided to publicly show his support to David. The group received the “Premio de Musica Brasileira 2009″, which is like our Grammy award! They will be recording their DVD in August at the Teatro Tom Jobim and will be playing in great venues in Rio and Sao Paulo such as Teatro Rival, Copacabana Palace, Cinematheque and Estudio SP. Congrats Pierre and all the members of the group!

 

Here is Doces Cariocas’ Myspace pages:

www.myspace.com/docescariocas

www.myspace.com/abacateiro

Legião Urbana – Perfeição (clipe original)

This great song from my favorite 80’s Brazilian rock group questions the Brazilian government’s incompetence and corruption. Renato Russo had the most amazing tenor voice. He died young, like many music geniuses, of drug abuse.

Cheating signs

In light of so many public figures taking risks by cheating on their spouses, many women are now worried about being able to read the signs before being always the last one to know. While some say cheating is a biological drive that many men (and women) cannot help, most people who have been through the ordeal know how much it hurts to be cheated on.

I found these warning signs to be interesting. Ignore the religious references if you are not religious like me.

It is awful to live in paranoia, but no one should be totally blind either:

www.growthtrac/artman/publish/the-warning-signs-of-infidelity-615.php

www.tristarpi.com/signs-of-infidelity.htm

Politically incorrect Brazilians

The title of this post says everything: we Brazilians are not usually politically correct. Classism, xenofobia, racism, as well as comtempt for the handicapped, overweight, poor or ugly is more accepted than in the USA. 

When Brazilians are gathered in social situations, remarks that can be considered offensive fly left and right. At most, it raises an eyebrow or two, but frequently, it provokes laughter and camaraderie. We don’t have in Brazil acceptable  names to call certain minorities. It is common to hear white folks call a young black Brazilian “o pretinho” (the “blackie”) or a wheelchair -bound person “aleijadinho” (the ”little crippled one” ). 

In a society which still has deep differences in class structure, the condescending and discriminatory tone used by many people is often seen as natural. When some people are perceived as “better” than others, this kind of speech is tolerated and even encouraged.  Despite all its recent economic success, Brazil still has a long way to go when it comes to respect to others who are different.

I am a techie lover

I have some friends who don’t answer their phone or their emails frequently. It is not so much that they are busy, but they do not care much for modern technology. They leave their cell phone turned off or they leave it in the car (that always amazes me as I cannot part with mine for one second…).

They still use the good old home line. They check their emails once a week, or every 2 weeks (that amazes me even more!). They make fun of these cell phones full of “stuff”. Why do we need a camera? Why do we need to surf the internet on a phone? Why do we need to check our emails during the day? They even brag about their cell phone being the same one from 7 years ago and still working fine..as a phone.

I am quite the opposite.  I grew up with a father and a brother who liked the latest gadgets, so I guess I got that rubbed into me. What I don’t spend in designer clothes and shoes (count me in for discount outlets!). Give me a fast internet connection over a pair o Manolos!  I like to spend on the latest cell phone, computer or TV. I like to be abreast of the latest technologies.

It causes me anxiety not to know what something is in the techie world. What is RSS, what is  iGoogle? I have to know. To me it seems that if I am not following technology, I will get old and rusty. I started tweeting just because everyone else is doing it

I don’t know that many women who are techie lovers, but I am sure there are many. I was one of the few women in the long line to get the iPhone 3G. But even though I am ignorant of the workings of these machines, I like to have the technology at my hands.  The current exception is the iPhone 3.0 OS. I am not getting it. 500 dollars for 3G users? No way. I will wait for the next big thing

So many websites, so little time

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was trying to remember my internetless days and see if in the past I had more time and enjoyed life more. I feel so drawn to following different websites every day, as if I cannot be away from what’s going on. Facebook, Twitter, The Huffington Post, AOL, CNN, Perez Hilton, different blogs, Atheist websites, Orkut,  and lately, www.BringSeanHome.org. 

After I became involved in the David Goldman saga, I have to follow not only BSH but also Orkut’s BSH community (Orkut is the most popular social networking website in Brazil), as well as Eduardo de Oliveira’s “Brasil com Z” blog at the Globo website, where the maternal family plants spew their venom. We have to counterattack by responding to the lies and misconceptions that are posted there about David.

Along with working FULL time, exercising and finding time to eat, I feel I have so much to read, so much to learn. There is so much interesting information on these websites, from news to politics to variety. It’s gotten so bad you can find me plugged to my iPhone (I am not advertising for Apple, it could also be a Blackberry or the Palm Pre ) late at night in bed reading tweets or checking Bring Sean Home….

Maybe I should take a vacation in the wilderness or an deserted island to get away from so much information and so many ideas that enter my brain every day…

David Goldman can have Sean during the week…in Brazil

As promised, the latest chapter of David Goldman’s struggle to get his son back in his life, correcting an error that should never have happened in the first place!

The Brazilian Supreme Court (STF) did not accept the Progressive Party’s ridiculous motion. All judges voted against it, including Marco Aurelio Melo, who had accepted it in the first place! Justice Ellen Gracie Northfleet impressed me with her discourse on the Hague Convention. Ricardo Zamariola, David’s lawyer in Brazil, impressed me with his youth and to the point presentation of the case. Minister Antonio Toffoli impressed me with his oratory skills and extreme common sense about the case.

Who did not impress me? Sergio Tostes, the maternal family’s attorney. Old rhetoric, cheap emotionalism.

With that out of the way, the case went back to the Federal level. After Judge Pinto’s wonderful decision which made everyone ecstatic, it was frustrating to hear that the case still had to be judged at the Rio Federal court. Delay, delay.

A few days later, we were shocked to see a transcript of an interview made by a PUC (Catholic University in Rio) psychologist, friends with the family, who interviewed Sean Goldman. The family one more time exploited the boy to get what they wanted: cheap emotionalism. Sean was cowered into saying he did not want to live with his father or either see him. I can only imagine how hurtful it must have been for David to read those lines, after all the sacrifice he has made for Sean, the trips, the gifts, the hugs and “I love yous”.

Talk about parental alienation at its finest.

One day later we were stunned to hear that Judge Pinto, the hand behind the 82 page document detailing parental alienation and Sean’s immediate return to David, decided that the transition period would he held in Brazil instead of New Jersey.

We took the news with a grain of salt. While it is great that David could spend a lot more time with his son without any interference from the “dark side”, we also knew how impratical it is for him to have to spend long periods of time in a country where he does not speak the language, have a work visa or know his way around. He is being inconvenienced while the maternal family, who has more time and money, is not.

Meanwhile, everybody is waiting for the final decision, which I still hope will be positive. I have a feeling that after the transition period and after David has spent time with Sean down there, they will let both come home finally. To be continued…

A few days later, we were shocked to see a transcript of an interview made by a PUC (Catholic University in Rio) psychologist, friends with the family, who interviewed Sean Goldman. The family one more time exploited the boy to get what they wanted: cheap emotionalism. Sean was cowered into saying he did not want to live with his father or either see him. I can only imagine how hurtful it must have been for David to read those lines, after all the sacrifice he has made for Sean, the trips, the gifts, the hugs and “I love yous”.

Talk about parental alienation at its finest.

One day later we were stunned to hear that Judge Pinto, the hand behind the 82 page document detailing parental alienation and Sean’s immediate return to David, decided that the transition period would he held in Brazil instead of New Jersey.

We took the news with a grain of salt. While it is great that David could spend a lot more time with his son without any interference from the “dark side”, we also knew how impratical it is for him to have to spend long periods of time in a country where he does not speak the language, have a work visa or know his way around. He is being inconvenienced while the maternal family, who has more time and money, is not.

Meanwhile, everybody is waiting for the final decision, which I still hope will be positive. I have a feeling that after the transition period and after David has spent time with Sean down there, they will let both come home finally. To be continued…

Candlelight vigil in DC for Sean Goldman

It was a moving effort and there was a sense of communion to know that so many people in so many different cities and countries around the world were also lighting candles for Sean to be reunited with his father. In Washington DC we were 12 people who are sympathizers of David Goldman. We stood in front of the Brazilian Embassy which is at the same street where Hillary Clinton lives.